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[edgeofjustice]

~Question meme~

For Yuri Lowell, Hibari Kyouya (and also Thusia, Gerasimos and Yuri).

Comments

[dormancy]

God, I am just going to write until everything makes sense . . .

As bad as it is, I do enjoy being retroactively enabled for all of that madness along with Vincent just flipping out on his own! As we were going through that thread, I kept flashing back to that scene, so it was kind of beautiful that TK picked it out without my saying anything. So, that memory is really quite special when it comes to Vincent, because it's the rare time that you see him reacting to the stress of everything that is going on. As a child, he shows quick cause and effect which is a different arena altogether; Alice upsets him, so he cuts up a doll. However, that emotional catharsis never shows up as an adult for Vincent, because he keeps everything locked away, so it ends up being a very delayed cause to his own effect. While he is mad at the Duke, Vincent is quick on the uptake and notes that it's like looking in a mirror when he's speaking with the Duke. The disgust and anger that he has towards the noble culture, the Duke, and everything else is the same disgust and anger that he has towards himself. He's not delusional and knows what sins are his to bear.

Moving forward, the date thread . . . I've talked it to death, but I'm going to break it down for my own satisfaction. ♥ Vincent was slamming down on his own issues with the relationship at a mile a minute.

1) Vincent does not like taking. As a child, if he wanted something, then it would come with consequences, usually for Gilbert. When he took action to possess what he wanted, Vincent was faced with something akin to hell in Sablier. The reaction to want has been rather forcibly beaten out of him. As an adult, it shows up in his passivity, guarding his emotions and doing whatever he must to achieve his goals. He views the Duke with disgust for using what he had available to advance, but Vincent has done the same. On the flipside, Vincent will take exactly what he wants from someone, so it becomes even more unbalanced when people offer him something as well. Like his sense of right and wrong, his sense of balance is intact, only set aside for his purposes.

However, few people know this when it comes to Vincent. At best, it is only Gilbert and Yuri who know how much he denies himself, and Gilbert may not have anywhere near the insight that Yuri has had into it. So, it really did rub Vincent the wrong way to have someone who is that close to him, who ought to know better, doing something like that. Setting aside the choice of location, Yuri knows that Vincent doesn't want— Not gifts, presents, dates, displays of affection, love, or sympathy . . .

2) It really was interesting how change became the keyword for most of Vincent's feelings on the matter. What if their relationship changed, what if the rules of the game changed, what if Vincent changed . . . For Vincent, he has been trying to preserve the present as it is for awhile now. If he were said to have a desire, then it would be for nothing to change, so Yuri is running exactly contrary to what he wants. It will show up again, but Vincent is definitely threatened by Yuri and his desires, so the choice between letting Yuri have his way and denying Yuri for the sake of his own desire will eventually have to be breached.

3) Hahaha . . . Speaking of pinning to a wall, Yuri had already done that. Not that Vincent hasn't had to keep recalculating when it comes to Yuri and his persistence, but he really was trapped when Yuri made it clear that he wouldn't leave. It was terrifying, and Vincent couldn't get any measure of control or choice in the matter. So, Demios came out to fight for control, to give Vincent what he desperately wanted.

So, for that dream thread . . . Well, it was the third point being reasserted with Yuri having time to think the situation over and coming back with the same conclusion. It simply proved that, without a doubt, Yuri was going to stick around and not let Vincent have his way. As for how he feels . . . Well, Vincent feels like absolute shit, naturally. Yuri is not supposed to assert himself into the truth of Vincent's nature, nor is he supposed to ask questions that can't be answered by the common knowledge shared throughout the cast. Vincent has had every chance to control for this situation but he didn't, so he's left dealing with the aftermath of it.

. . . Except I just figured out the most absolutely clever way of fixing this entire problem.

Oh, and as a note, Vincent will probably mentally walk his heart game just to run over all the pieces once more. So, it is meditation time for Vincent~.